the amandzing way

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Letter to my brother

“Losing family obliges us to find our family. Not always the family that is our blood, but the family that can become our blood. And should we have the wisdom to open our door to this new family, we will find that the wishes and hopes we once had for the father who once guided us, for the brother who once inspired us, those wishes are there for us once again.”

You might recognize the words. They are from the movie, Finding Forrester. For the most part, I think, they resonate in those of us who have lost family for whatever reason.

At the end of the day though, blood remains blood.

For me, plainly a hard lesson to learn.

Why was that?

Why was it when you and Dad needed me the most, I turned on you like a rabid dog? Do you even care? Would any rationalism I gave, make any difference to you?

So I’m not going to, unless you ask me why.

Something I have never acknowledged to you, whatever I felt of the impact of the horror of that day, it must be nothing to what you have had to bear.

Will you let me come closer now? Has enough time passed that the scar tissue is a little thicker? Can I help carry? Even a little bit?

What can I do to heal this divide? Because staying away from you is not working. Something else I have learned is that procrastination just gives problems a stronger foundation.

This brings me to the massive change I’ve made in my life. Is that another block between us? I imagine possibly.

Plainly, a harelip was not the only thing that went wrong at birth. However, it is done now. Dealing with who I am, and what I am, and dropping the societal denial about it, has made me a different person. I’ve said this before.

Try me Andrew. Please.

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5 Comments

  1. I truly hope that your words can be heard by him. Truth and transparency sets us all free……

    thank you

  2. ozymandiaz says:

    may peace fall upon your path
    gentle as new snow

  3. shoreacres says:

    Such a poignant entry. It makes me want to go find your brother and say, “Please…….?”

    i know exactly where he stays, i’m going to pitch up at his house soon… zee mountain vill go to mohammed…

  4. ulla says:

    How did it go? Hugs.

    didn’t have wheels and was further away than i suspected. is ok though, i’ll get there

  5. jamie003 says:

    Maybe appreciating that you have a brother is a good thing to hold onto for now 😉

    wise words 🙂

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