the amandzing way

Home » Poetry » i’m so fucking over you

i’m so fucking over you

you bastard
it wasn’t me who put the
gun in her hand
wrapped around the butt of
your revolver which she pointed at her
head exploded and then left me to
wash our mother’s life off the walls soaking
into the wooden
floors me that all these years i’ve
wasted waiting for to you to
give me a chance to say
i’m sorry but not I’m going to wallow in
your indignant silence because I
tried to reach out before
i tried to put you
away with my pointless
guilt should weigh you
down to your knees as you
remember it wasn’t me who put the
gun in her hand
all I did was go to the morgue
choose the coffin
choose her final outfit
organise her service
organise her funeral
stand by her will and her last
testament to me not to
you owe me a fucking
apology won’t bring her back
so be a
man up to your fuck up
and because you’re my brother
i might forgive you for
fucking up and
putting the gun in Mom’s hand
on that hateful sunny fateful day of
5 may 1996

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