the amandzing way

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sleepless in jozi

tired wired
too tense feeling intense
i see dust floating in the air
its irritating me
irritated with myself
myworld
impatience was always a virtue
introspection has left me unsettled
unaccomplished
fear of impending change
yes planned for change
still brings fear of self
but embracing the fear
i like the fear
the unknown challenges me
scares me
worries at me
gnaws at me
all i can do is stare it down
…waiting…waiting…waiting…
for my demons
my long time companions
i know their names
i play their games
they know where im weak
but they dont know
i know too but maybe
that scar tissue is a little tougher
a little thicker
more pliable less forgiving
the wind howls
through my forest of thoughts
each leaf an action
each twig an inaction
the wind caresses and tickles
swirls and teases
…a lovers touch…an intimate touch… a terror touch
…a just enough to make me grit my teeth touch…a sub-atomic touch
…my soul reaches out for that touch…
and the wind swirls and blows again…

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